Daycare = Sad Mama

Well, yesterday was the second day (FIRST FULL DAY) for Dafney to be at daycare.  

It breaks my heart.  

On Monday, we took her there for a few hours.  I was off, but wanted to ease myself her in with a half day.  We dropped her off at 7:30am and I left without shedding a tear...probably because I cried so much the day/night before, but once I dropped my Husband off at work, I immediately started crying (I don't like to cry in front of others...call me crazy).  

I felt heartbroken and completely guilty for dropping my baby girl off into someone else's care.  It left me with the worst feeling.  I knew the people I left her with were good people, but they weren't ME.  I continue to feel like she needs her Mama (or maybe it's more like her Mama needs her baby).  I'm sad to miss her smiley face and our morning "conversations".  I miss her falling asleep in my arms and her little face staring up at me when I'm feeding her.  I even miss her messy diapers!  Bottom line...I'm sad!  

I couldn't get there fast enough to pick her up on Monday.  I don't think I set her down for the rest of the day.  Tuesday's drop off was even harder because I knew she'd have to be there ALL.DAY.LONG.  

Thankfully I work close and walked there on my lunch break to spend some time with her.  What really is hard is seeing how little time I get to spend with her everyday.  By the time I picked her up and we got home it was 4:30pm which meant I only had a few hours with her (in between walking the dog, making dinner, cleaning up and getting ready for the next day)...SO HARD!  This daycare thing is really tough and I don't know when / if it will get easier, but one thing is for sure, I CHERISH my time with my baby girl SO much!  

I have so much more to write, but I'm heading out to see my baby!  Now that I'm back at work, hopefully I'll find a little more time to blog (as if I don't have enough to do at work).   

Daycare Dilemma

I can't believe that in 5 weeks, we're supposed to drop our precious daughter off at Daycare.  Ugh, the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.  I know that most people with children do this everyday, but the thought of my baby going to daycare is hard to swallow. 

 I've looked at 3 daycare centers {we decided to completely rule out home daycares} and not one of them seems good enough for my sweet baby girl.  I'm sure they are all good places, but the only thing I could think when I was meeting with each was "you're not good enough to watch after MY child".  

But, lets face it, I don't think any parent feels anyone is ever good enough to watch after their child...right?  Maybe I'm being over dramatic about this HUGE decision, but I can't help myself.  I mean, my daughter can't defend herself nor can she tell us if something is "not quite right" at daycare.  It's hard to put your baby in the hands of a complete stranger.  

Maybe I was completely naive when I started looking at daycares, but I had a totally different vision of what an "acceptable" daycare looked like (at least "acceptable" in my mind).  None of the places we've looked at have "state of the art" buildings...in fact, none of them really gave me that "warm, cozy" feeling.  None of the people seemed like they were qualified enough to take care of my baby.  None of them seemed like the "right" place.  I just left each place feeling confused.  

What should you feel when leaving a daycare?  When you find the right one, will you know it?  Will there ever be a place that is "perfect"?  Is anyone ever good enough to watch your baby?  Are my standards to high?  Am I over thinking this?  The unanswered questions, doubts and fears are endless...these are the times I wish someone could tell me what to do.  The pressure of making sure I pick the right place is weighing heavily on me.  I'm stressed beyond belief.  What did you look for when choosing a daycare?  What are some important questions to ask?  

HELP!!