Daycare = Sad Mama

Well, yesterday was the second day (FIRST FULL DAY) for Dafney to be at daycare.  

It breaks my heart.  

On Monday, we took her there for a few hours.  I was off, but wanted to ease myself her in with a half day.  We dropped her off at 7:30am and I left without shedding a tear...probably because I cried so much the day/night before, but once I dropped my Husband off at work, I immediately started crying (I don't like to cry in front of others...call me crazy).  

I felt heartbroken and completely guilty for dropping my baby girl off into someone else's care.  It left me with the worst feeling.  I knew the people I left her with were good people, but they weren't ME.  I continue to feel like she needs her Mama (or maybe it's more like her Mama needs her baby).  I'm sad to miss her smiley face and our morning "conversations".  I miss her falling asleep in my arms and her little face staring up at me when I'm feeding her.  I even miss her messy diapers!  Bottom line...I'm sad!  

I couldn't get there fast enough to pick her up on Monday.  I don't think I set her down for the rest of the day.  Tuesday's drop off was even harder because I knew she'd have to be there ALL.DAY.LONG.  

Thankfully I work close and walked there on my lunch break to spend some time with her.  What really is hard is seeing how little time I get to spend with her everyday.  By the time I picked her up and we got home it was 4:30pm which meant I only had a few hours with her (in between walking the dog, making dinner, cleaning up and getting ready for the next day)...SO HARD!  This daycare thing is really tough and I don't know when / if it will get easier, but one thing is for sure, I CHERISH my time with my baby girl SO much!  

I have so much more to write, but I'm heading out to see my baby!  Now that I'm back at work, hopefully I'll find a little more time to blog (as if I don't have enough to do at work).