Dafney Harper

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Thursday, September 27, 2012

me + elevators = friendship cut off

Yesterday was the day that the elevator & I ended our long friendship.  We're done.  No longer.  O.V.E.R.

Normally I'm a fan of taking the lazy route elevator, but it all ended yesterday.  Yep, it ended when I got stuck in the elevator for an hour & a half.  I almost died lost my mind!  Let me take you through my horrific experience {can you tell I'm a little dramatic about the whole thing??}!

I got into my work building at my normal time.  Walked to the elevators as I normally do.  Pushed the "up" button & waited.  The doors opened, I got in & hit the button for the 4th floor.  The elevator went down to the basement floor (one floor below where I was), so I figured I'd mistakenly hopped on an elevator that was going down first.  No big deal, right?  WRONG!  The doors opened & I hit the button for the 4th floor.  The doors closed.  And that's when things when down the crapper.

I could feel the elevator go up a bit & then it just stopped.  The light that shows what floor you're on went blank.  I shat myselfI hit the "open door" button about 4543154165135 times {true story}.  The door did NOT open.  I panicked.  I took out my phone and all it said was "searching for service"I shat my pants, again.  I totally freaked out.  I sat down & took 20 seconds to THINK.  Then I noticed the "emergency phone".  I hit the call button.  A recording played: "you are in elevator 1 at the McNamara building...." that freakin' message played THREE more times.  

Finally...{what felt like hours later} someone answered and said "does someone need help in the elevator" {um, no, I just thought I'd make this phone call for funsies...}  YES!  I screamed politely said.  She asked me to explain what happened and asked if I knew what floor I was on.  I told her the situation, but that I wasn't completely sure what floor I was on.  She told me she would contact the building management.  Then...she hung up.  

I may or may not have shat myself a third time ;)

I stared at my phone & tried to text/call my Husband, co-workers, family....anyone.  But, I had no service.  I stood up & started to pace {which is probably comical to watch or think about since I was in a 4x4 space} and then I started to feel like I was going to faint.  So I quickly sat my arse back dwon.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  30 minutes had passed & was starting to freak myself out.  What if the building starts on fire & I can't get out because I'm stuck in the elevator & I DIE?  What if my boss realizes I'm not at work & haven't called in & she calls my Husband and he freaks out because he realizes my car is in the parking lot & thinks that someone kidnapped me.  And most importantly: what if I have to PEE?  

These thoughts were starting to truly freak me out, so I decided to call the "lady on the other end of the phone" again.  I got a different person this time & she said that they had to call the repair guy & that he'd be there in 20 minutes or so.  WHAT, another 20 minutes of waiting...not cool, lady, not cool.  

I just sat there with nothing but my thoughts.  My stomach hurt, I was sweating like a freakin' pig, & I was on the verge of crying.  20 minutes passed, 30 minutes, 40 minutes...where is the repair guy??  Then, my phone died!  I know that it wasn't working, but at least when it was on, I had some hope that it would magically "find service".  But, it certainly did me no good with a dead battery.  

Probably 10 minutes after my phone died, I heard what sounded like someone messing with the elevator.  I quickly stood up & listened.  Then, I saw two hands trying to pry the doors open.  BEST FEELING EVER!

The repair guy opened the doors and I practically jumped into his arms.  I've never been so happy to see someone in my life.  It was not my most favorite way to start my morning...needless to say, I'll be taking the stairs from now on.  I think I lost about 10 years off my life yesterday...awesome.  

And, that's why I am no longer friends with the elevator.  The end.

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