Life lately!

It's the end of August.  The MN State Fair starts tomorrow.  My sweet little man turns 5 months on Friday.  Where-O-where has the time gone?  Seriously.  Where?  

I've been back to work for over a month now.  Gross.  But, on a good note, I was able to reduce my hours so I have Fridays off to spend with the kids.  I only just started my reduced hours last Friday, but I know I am going to LOVE it.  I got to spend some quality time with the kids and it was so much fun.  We spent over an hour at a local park, hit up the library, ate Pot Pies for lunch and played until our hearts content! 

Once I started back at work, we made the decision to change daycares.  Yes, we loved our old daycare, but once I confirmed that I was able to reduce my hours, we knew we needed to find something a bit cheaper.  We found a really great Spanish-Immersion daycare.  We've been there almost a month and we love it!  Dafney definitely misses her friends, but she seems to be making new friends and loves her teachers!

Little man is already 20 weeks.  Whoa.  He has changed SO much over the past 20 weeks.  He's starting to giggle and it's adorable.  He is a happy little guy and is almost always ready to give you a big toothless smile :)

He probably weighs about 17 pounds and is so strong!  He loves to be held, thinks his Mom's dancing is hilarious and most recently realized how much he loves to swing.  

He has such a sweet demeanor and is super laid back & fairly quite considering he is part MacKenzie.  Apparently, he takes after his Mom...cute & quiet.  Right?!  We love having him around and can't imagine our lives without him!

Dafney is still my smart, spunky, silly, three going on thirteen year old!  She constantly keeps us on our toes.  She's hit such a fun age.  She's even picking up some Spanish...she's so advanced ;)

And to say she "loves her brother" would be the understatement of the Century.  She cares for him like I never thought imaginable!  She's definitely the sweetest, most caring big sister EVER.

I guess I'd say, Life is good!

a hard day back

Today is my first day back to work after having 4 months off.  Maternity leave went by faster than the blink of an eye...and to say I'm struggling would be the understatement of the year.

I miss this face.

I miss our snuggles.

I miss our photo sessions.

Basically...I miss everything about being home with my little man. I wish things were different and I could be that stay at home mom, but that's not the case.  It's heartbreaking, but it's [the unfortunate] reality.

Both of my kids mean the world to me and I want to spend as much time with them as possible, because let's face it, eventually they won't want to spend time with me [hard to believe since I'm so cool].  

Truthfully, I know that Hendrix will be our last child and I know how fast they grow up, so I want to soak up every second with them.  

My biggest fear is that someday I will regret not spending more time with them.  Not being home with them.  I don't want to look back and kick myself for not being with them more.  If only money trees were a real thing...

Question: How do you juggle work/kids/family?  

A Trip Down Memory Lane: Hendrix's Birth + Hospital Stay

Where has the time gone?  How is that Hendrix {a.k.a. little man} is already 10+ weeks old?  Time is flying at warp speed and it makes me want to cry.  I'm trying so hard to soak up every second with Hendrix {& Dafney}, so to know we're already 10 weeks in as a family of four amazes me.  

What's less amazing is that I haven't blog a thing since little man was born.  YIKES!  That changes now.  I'm here to take a trip down memory lane and recap little man's birth story!

If you remember, I was put on bed rest at about 34 weeks.  It was TOUGH to "rest" {right, what Mother can really rest with a 3 year old running around}, but I did the best I could.  The night before H was born, it was business as usual.  I was feeling okay, but knew that there was NO way I would make it to 39 weeks, when my c-section was scheduled.  I remember sitting on the couch with the Hubby & Dafney and having an overwhelming feeling that this would be one of our last nights as a family of 3.  And, that feeling was right!

I didn't sleep well that night.  I was up every couple hours to go to the bathroom.  I really woke up a bit after 5am thinking something might be happening.  I was getting some odd feelings in my belly.  After this happened a few times, I started to time them and sure enough, they were coming every 5 minutes.  The hubby was starting to wake up, so I told him what I was feeling.  He whipped out his phone and started timing them for me.  He confirmed that whatever was happening was coming every 5 minutes.  He told me I should probably call the Dr. and he got up and started to pack our Hospital bag.

I called the Dr. and she said that I should head in to the Hospital. So, I called my parents to let them know so they could meet us at the Hospital to get Dafney.  Hubby got Dafney out of bed and got her ready.  We got to the Hospital about 6:30am and they hooked me up to the monitors and confirmed I was in labor.  I hadn't really progressed much since my doctor visit that previous Wednesday, but they gave me the option to try natural labor or to have the c-section.  After much thought, I decided to stick with the 'plan' and go ahead with the c-section.  A bit before 9am, the Dr. came in to chat with me about the procedure, etc. and before long, I was walking into the OR, anxious to meet our new baby!  

Before long, I was prepped and they were ready to start.  I have to say, the OR staff was AMAZING!  They kept me calm during the whole procedure.  About 15 minutes after they started, I heard our baby cry and it was an amazing sound!  There really isn't anything as beautiful as the first cry of your baby.  They brought the baby around the corner and said, congratulations, you have a son!  I was pretty sure we'd have another girl, so I was completely shocked and beyond excited to see we had a boy!  It brought tears to my eyes. He was perfect and I was in love all over again.

After they cleaned  him up, weighed him, etc. the Nurse brought him to me and let me hold him.  It was one of the best moments of my life!  When we had Dafney, I wasn't able to hold her until I got into the recovery room.  With Hendrix, I was able to hold him for about 15-20 minutes.  Just before I was ready to head to recovery, the Nurse took Hendrix & Kyle out of the OR and into the recovery area.  

Since H was exactly 4 weeks early, they were amazed at how well he was doing.  He weighed in at a whopping 6lbs 3oz and was 19.5 inches long!  I'm sure they always say this to parents, but he was a CHAMP!  They said that everything with his birth went so well, especially for a pre-term baby.  

After about an hour in recover, they wheeled us up to our room.  I have to admit, I was a bit apprehensive about our Hospital stay since our Hospital stay with Dafney did not go well.  When we got into our room, we met our Nurse and she was explaining how the bracelets work {which was new since having D}.  We told her about our experience with D and she knew the story and said that after that incident, they changed a bunch of things with their processes and procedures.  What a relief!  

Not long after we were in our room, BIG SISTER, Dafney came to visit with Grandma and Grandpa.  I think Dafney was a bit scared when she saw the room and realized I was hooked up to all sorts of machines.  She was probably overwhelmed and she was definitely tired.  We snagged her out of bed a lot earlier than she's used to, plus she had a full day at her little friend's birthday party...but, watching her hold her new baby brother was absolutely priceless!

She truly is the best big sister ever {but that deserves a blog post of it's very own...coming soon}!  I just love seeing the kids together!  After they left, Kyle & I rested and soaked up every second with our new SON!

That night, little man got his first bath!  He was a champ!

We went to bed fairly early that night, but we quickly realized that little man did NOT like sleeping in the bassinet.  So, I held him for a good part of the night.  I loved having him in my arms!

Sunday, Hendrix had his first visit with the Pediatrician and he said that he looked great!  He had his hearing test and passed with flying colors.  The only other big thing he had to pass was the car seat test.  Since he was considered pre-term, he had to be able to sit in the car seat for an 1.5 hours without having any breathing issues.  Other than being small and needing to have blankets on either side of his head in the car seat, he passed no problem! 

Dafney, Grandma & Grandpa came for another visit late Sunday morning and it was SO much better for Dafney!  She kissed and hugged the little man than I thought possible!  It was so heart-warming to see!

After everyone left, Kyle and I got some rest, watched some College hoops and enjoyed some more one-on-one time with the little man!

Again, I slept with the little man and it was one of the best nights sleeps I've had with him.  Our night-time nurse was amazing and she only woke me once to take my pain-meds.  Otherwise, she let us sleep, which was amazing!!

Monday, I was finally starting to feel pretty good and was walking around well.  It felt good to get out of bed and move around.  I felt more like "me" and that was a good feeling.

We had one more visit from Dafney and G & G on Monday!  The Hospital gives every family a cake to celebrate the birth of their little ones, so we enjoyed some cake.  Happy BIRTH DAY Hendrix!

Monday was just another day for us to rest and spend quality time with Hendrix!  Our Hospital stay was SO much better this time around. The Nurses were AWESOME and we were so happy to have everything go smoothly!

We were; however, ready to head home and start our new life as a family of 4.  We were discharged around noon on Tuesday.  The little man looked so small in the car seat.

We have absolutely loved being a family of 4 and we have all adjusted well to our new lifestyle...especially little Miss Dafney!  She's been a rockstar and truly is the BEST big sister.  Ever.

Welcome Hendrix!

We are WILD about our newest addition: Hendrix Oscar MacKenzie!  He joined our family on March 28th...we are completely in love!

A big ball of nerves

It's been a while since I've had a chance to blog, but since I'm on bed rest, I am finally able to find some time to catch up on life lately!  

We are currently at at 35.5 weeks along and I'm feeling okay. Around the 32 week mark, my Dr. diagnosed me with Gestational Diabetes.  I didn't pass my first Glucose test, but did pass the 3 hour test.  However, when I went in for my 32 week appointment, my Glucose levels were highly elevated, so my Dr. had me see a Dietitian to control my sugar & carb intake.  Definitely not an easy feat, but clearly it was needed.

The following week I saw the dietitian and she went over some healthy eating options, snacks & showed my how to take my blood sugar.  It's definitely been hard to give up all those tasty sweets, but I really do feel better.  I know that I can continue on this path until baby arrives...no matter how much those cookies call my name :)

Last week I had my 34 week check up.  Everything sounded great with baby, which is obviously the MOST important; however, I let my Dr. know that I'd been experiencing a fair amount of Braxton Hicks contractions.  Nothing painful, but definitely noticeable.  So, she decided to do an exam and much to my surprise, she stated that "baby was head down and fairly low and I was 2cm dilated".  Say what?  Obviously, I could stay that way until my scheduled c-section, but odds are, I won't make it that long.  Because of my progression, she decided it was best that I be put on bed rest.  

Bed. Rest.  

Ugh, I don't do "bed rest" well.  It's been tough being home as I feel like there are a million things I could/should be doing in preparation for the baby.  But, I also know that it's best for the babe to keep cookin' as long as possible.  

The hubby has stepped up SO much and pretty much takes care of everything at home.  I admit, I have done some cooking, but that's really about it as far as taking care of things around the house.  I guess taking it easy is about the best thing I can do for myself and baby right now.  Queue up the trashy TV!

I went in this morning for the 35 week appointment and the Dr. said that the baby has dropped even more from last week.  She said baby is head down & "pretty low".  She reiterated that if I feel any changes in my Braxton Hicks {i.e they are more frequent, last longer, or become painful} or my water breaks, that I need to get to the Hospital ASAP as she thinks things will progress "really fast".  To say that makes me a little nervous is a total understatement.  I hate the not-knowing of when/how things will happen, but I'm hopeful everything will work out perfectly {but feel free to throw some luck and good vibes my way}!

For now, I'm just trying to enjoy and take in these last days/weeks of pregnancy!  It's been a fun journey thus far and I'm thankful for this little blessing!

If you need me, I'll be on the couch catching up on some day-time TV :)

Latte with Leah: #12

Happy Monday, Friends!  It's time for another edition of Latte with Leah!  Grab a drink and let's get started :)

~ A week ago, we finally got Dafney a real "big girl bed"!  She really wanted a bed "with a ladder", so we searched and searched and found one on Craigslist that was PERFECT!  It's a loft bed and has a great play area under the bed.  It came with a bookshelf & dresser, too!  So, we put the bookshelf under the bed and it's now our little reading nook at night :)

~ Since we got Dafney a new bed, we were able to convert the Toddler bed back into a crib for the new baby!  But, a certain little Toddler decided to find a nuk and climb in and make herself comfortable!  Oh boy!

~ Story of my life!

~ Over the weekend, I took the little one to a daycare friend's birthday party.  She was very excited!  

It didn't take her long to warm up and she was VERY interested in playing all the games, which really surprised me!  She even won one of the games...and of course, she choose a Frozen cup :)

After the games and lunch, we went swimming...she had a blast! She was out on the way home!

~ We are currently just over the 32 week mark with this pregnancy! Wow...time flies!  I've been feeling pretty good, but it's definitely getting a bit harder to move, bend & sleep.  But, I am trying to soak up every second of this pregnancy!  I love feeling all the kicks, jabs & flips...baby is SO active!

~ These are my new FAVORITE & "go-to" dessert!

~ Seriously in LOVE with this necklace!

~ In love with these two ♥

Bakin' Friends - February 2015

I'm back with another edition of BAKIN' FRIENDS.  After a couple months off, I decided it was time to start back up and boy am I glad I did.  This month, I chose chocolate as the secret ingredient.  No brainer, right?

This month, I was paired with Erin at The Spiffy Cookie.  If you haven't stopped over to her blog, do so.  Now.

She sent me her double dark chocolate cherry cookies!  And, let me tell you, they were so tasty!  Thankfully, the hubby and kiddo aren't big into chocolate, so I was able to hoard them all to myself :)  Hey, leave me alone, I'm pregnant; I'm doing it for the baby, after all!

You can [and should] find the recipe for these amazing cookies here!  Thank you, Erin for the tasty cookies...they certainly were enjoyed!

Interested in joining?  Send me an email [or leave a comment below with your contact info] to: leahmarie.mackenzie@gmail.com
The deadline to sign up for MARCH bakin' friends is 9pm CST, Thursday, March 5th!  All matches will be sent out on Friday, March 6th.

Until next time, Happy Baking [and eating]!

A Year's Time

It's hard to believe that a year ago, I heard the words: "Leah, I'm sorry, but I don't see baby's heartbeat".

Those words still haunt me.

It was one of the hardest days of my life; one that I think of often and will probably never forget.  And even though a part of me still wonders what life would have been like had our pregnancy/baby been well, over time, I've started to realize that was not in our plan.  
Do I still wonder why it happened to us, yes, all the time.  Have I learned to accept it, yes {to an extent}.  

As I said, it truly was one of the hardest days in my 33 years on Earth.  I cried.  A lot.  I think I felt every emotion imaginable over a short period of time.  I was: sad, confused, angry, scared, anxious, bitter & guilt-ridden.  I tried to be strong, but inside I was crushed.  My heart was broken into tiny bits and I felt strangely alone.  In recent years, I'd known quite a few friends that had miscarriages, but it was never something we spoke about.  And, after it happened to us, I knew it was something I didn't want to talk about either.  I'm not sure why, but talking about it made me angry and I felt really defensive.  What I felt defensive about...I'm really not sure, it was just something I felt.

I think about "bean" often.  I still find myself wondering what it was that I did wrong.  I know this question will never have an answer, but it's one I think of quite frequently.  

But, what I have learned over this past year is that with most things, time really does heal a broken heart.  On that day, my heart was broken into more pieces than I thought possible, but with time, I've learned how to deal and pick up those pieces.  I've allowed my heart to heal and have definitely become stronger because of what happened.

The silver lining to having miscarried "Bean" was that we were able to spend the summer exclusively with Dafney.  We had SO much fun last summer.  We went to festivals, fairs, parks & splash pads.  We took a ton of bike rides, picnic-ed together, had more dance parties than I ever thought was possible and just enjoyed our time as a family of 3.  

However, had you asked me a year ago if there was any sort of "silver lining" affiliated with our miscarriage, I would have snapped at you and said no.  I was blind to anything positive coming out of our situation.  But I can say with confidence, I'm thankful for the extra time I had with Dafney & wouldn't give it back for anything.

Though I was beyond happy to have the summer to spend with Dafney, we were SO lucky to find out in August that we were expecting.  Talk about perfect timing!  

Naturally, I was extra nervous with this pregnancy, but we've been blessed that things have been going well thus far.  We have less than 9 weeks until our family of 3 turns into a family of FOUR. Eeek!   We're semi-ready.  We have most of what we need for a newborn, but the big thing we need to do is get Dafney a big girl bed so we can put the baby's room together.  

It's crazy how much life can change in a year.  It was a year with drastic ups & downs, but in the end, I know that this was our plan all along.  I may never know why things happened the way they did, but I'm a firm believer that all things happen for a reason.

- In Memory of "bean"

Latte with Leah: #11

Hi Friends,

It’s a cold one out there today, although, I really think Spring is right around the corner [call it wishful thinking].  So, grab a nice, warn drink and let’s get started!

~ I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant.  Say what?  The first trimester was tough, to say the least, but this pregnancy has gone by twice as fast as my first.  I’m trying to soak up these last weeks and enjoy everything about being pregnant! 

~ This mad me laugh!

~ Luck was on my side and I won 2 tickets to the DAVE MATTHEWS BAND concert in July!  Dave is one of my favorite bands and they put on the BEST show ever!  I am so excited!!!

~ Hard to believe Valentine's Day is right around the corner.  We have no big plans, which will actually be kind of nice.  Dafney will be at my parents house on Sunday night, so I'm thinking of making a nice dinner for the hubby and I.  Possibly this tasty looking meal?!

~ We're thinking about changing daycare.  UGH.  I could literally cry when I think about it, because I LOVE our daycare, but let's face it, I think we got to one of the most expensive places in the area.  Plus, hubby would like to have something closer to our house.  I try to remember that things WILL work out, but it's tough.

~...this face ♥

~ Hubby is not big into chocolate [crazy, I know], but he LOVES peanut butter, so I thought I'd make a peanut butter-y dessert for Valentine's Day.  But, I'm not sure which to make: this one, or maybe these, possibly this, or these tasty looking morsels!  Such decisions...what's on your Valentine's Day dessert menu?

~ Hope you all have a great end of your week and a wonderful [Valentine's Day] weekend ♥