a hard day back

Today is my first day back to work after having 4 months off.  Maternity leave went by faster than the blink of an eye...and to say I'm struggling would be the understatement of the year.

I miss this face.

I miss our snuggles.

I miss our photo sessions.

Basically...I miss everything about being home with my little man. I wish things were different and I could be that stay at home mom, but that's not the case.  It's heartbreaking, but it's [the unfortunate] reality.

Both of my kids mean the world to me and I want to spend as much time with them as possible, because let's face it, eventually they won't want to spend time with me [hard to believe since I'm so cool].  

Truthfully, I know that Hendrix will be our last child and I know how fast they grow up, so I want to soak up every second with them.  

My biggest fear is that someday I will regret not spending more time with them.  Not being home with them.  I don't want to look back and kick myself for not being with them more.  If only money trees were a real thing...

Question: How do you juggle work/kids/family?